Lay your Weary Head to Rest
by SophieSaulie
Summary: A sequel to Reflection. Lucifer pays a visit, but not the way they wanted him to.


**Lay your Weary Head to Rest**

**A sequel to Reflection**

Sam finally hit the sack, giving into his exhaustion. Dean wasn't so lucky. Exhaustion was begging him to give in, but Dean wouldn't let it seep into him. He had too much on his mind, too much to think about. This was the worst no-win-but-have-to-win scenario he had ever been in. Who was he kidding? It was the ONLY no-win-but-have-to-win scenario he had ever been in. Even in Monument, when they were surround by the townspeople, all possessed, Dean had a plan, a one-shot-in-a-million, no, make that a one-shot-in-a-gazillion plan that had worked. His only regret was that just when he was finding an ally in an old enemy, he had lost him to Lillith. He still felt guilty for Hendricksen and the innocent, young girl, Nancy. She had the kind of faith that the angels would have admired. She had been brave for her years. Even in her fear, she had been willing to sacrifice herself to Ruby's plan to save her friends. It was a nobility he had to make sure hadn't been lost for nothing.

Dean couldn't help recounting the last couple of years and everything that had happened. All the wasted energy he had exerted in getting over his father's death and the way his father had let it be taken. Succumbing to the fear that he would fail his father's last wish of him and more importantly to keep Sam alive, in looking back, it had been for nothing. Sam had died anyway and he had sold his soul to save him. Disappointment all around. Still, if Dean could ascribe any benefit from going to Hell and all it had done to him, he had to admit that it had purged him of all of his baggage, maybe replacing it with different baggage, but…all in all, maybe it had been worth the trip. All the recrimination was gone. Past failures were wiped clean, he had a clean slate and though what he did in Hell was no less inexcusable in his mind and soul, he used it as a way to remind himself that he had survived it, survived it all and that the best thing he could do now was to make that survival count for something.

Dean had remembered telling Bobby that maybe sacrificing himself to save Sam would make his father's sacrifice in saving his life amount to something. He shook his head. Some things never changed. Guess not even Hell could change his stripes. Maybe that was a good thing after all. For all that Hell had done to him, the basic tenets of his life were still there, the Winchester version of the Golden Rule was still alive and well inside of him, saving people, hunting things, the family business. He still lived it.

He also remembered all of the innocent lives that had been caught in the crossfire of their war, their parents, Nancy, Hendricksen, Ron, Madison, even Meg. Not all were a direct result of the war ahead and some weren't their casualties, but they had all been along the path that both he and Sam had walked. Dean had resolved to always remember them. It would have been easier to let them go, to move forward without dwelling on the past, but the losses, they drove him, they reminded him that this was not just all about him and Sam. His first loss, their mother, her memory and what he had learned about what she had wanted for her children, gave him the determination to finish things once and for all. Though it would have been easy to blame her for what had happened to them, that her deal had destroyed any chance of her children living a normal life, the normal life she had wanted for them, Dean couldn't blame her, never could have blamed her. In fact, knowing that she had wanted to give her children that normal life made him love her all the more. It was time that he had proved to her that she hadn't failed, that the life she had inadvertently led them to through the grief of their father hadn't been a waste, that maybe it had been meant to be. She had given him 4 years of a normal life, years that he would always remember fondly and which still gave him strength because his memory of her was of her loving him fully and unconditionally. His only regret was that Sam didn't get to have those memories with her too.

As hard and harsh as the life had been for him and Sam, now, in the clarity of possibly losing everything, of other lives being lost, of their potential for a normal life being threatened, he felt suddenly well-suited for the battle ahead and he felt glad for all the training, glad that he had a chance to change things for others, if not for himself and Sam. It was enough for him. The only question left was how. It was not having a plan that worried him. He had no idea what to do, what he was supposed to be meant to do to drive Lucifer back. He didn't like being out of control, of not being the orchestrator of the next move. He didn't like feeling helpless. He felt his hands tremble and fisted them to keep them steady. He grinned nervously as he thought to himself, _"the fate of the world is in these shaky hands. Great. I'll say it again, the world is so screwed"._

"The fate of the world is in the best of hands," said a voice beside him.

So deep in his thoughts, Dean was startled.

"Cas," Dean said with gritted teeth.

"I'm sorry. You seem jumpy. Did you get some rest?"

Castiel's concern was genuine and it diffused Dean's initial irritation.

"No, I took first watch. Couldn't sleep. Too much on my mind."

"I understand."

"You and Anna find anything out?"

"Anna is continuing to increase our forces. I felt I would be needed here more. If you would like to rest, I can take the watch now."

"Appreciate that, Cas, but still pretty wired right now."

Castiel sensed Dean's anxiety.

"You're worried."

"And you're not? Because if you aren't, I'd be worried about that."

"I have faith that –"

Dean turned on his heel, walked away from Castiel and drew his fingers through his hair.

"I'll need more than that to beat Lucifer. You know that, I know that, Hell, the whole world knows that. I feel like we're just waiting for Lucifer to make his first move and I don't operate well that way. I need to have a plan. I need to have an idea about how to bring him down, but nobody seems to have that answer."

"When the time is right, you will have your answers and all you'll need to defeat him."

"Cryptic much, Cas? Could you be more vague?"

Dean paced, his exhaustion suddenly pushed aside with a fresh rush of adrenaline.

"I can't let this world end. Too many people have died defending it for so long."

"So have you and Sam."

Dean turned.

"No, I didn't sacrifice for this world, Cas. I told Bobby it could go to Hell because Sam was dead and nothing mattered anymore. I sacrificed only because I couldn't live in a world without Sam in it, alive and whole. Don't mistake my so-called sacrifice for the kind that others have made. Mine was completely selfish. I'd do it again, but I realize now that I have to make those much nobler sacrifices count for something. I have to make you pulling me out of Hell mean something, that you won't regret having done it."

Castiel looked quizzically at Dean.

"If I regret anything, it's that I wasn't strong enough to defy my orders sooner. If I had, you would have had time to have stopped Sam."

Dean took in a breath. Another thing he had to remind himself, he wasn't alone in this war. He may have the last say, but there were others that would be right beside him defending his last act.

"If anyone's to blame for pushing Sam towards releasing Lucifer, it's me. I get that. We have some serious issues to work out, but I know we'll deal with it and for real this time. What matters is that you're here now, Cas, not what brought you here. I just hope you won't regret that choice when the time comes," Dean teased a little.

"I doubt I will."

Dean then felt a throbbing pain hit him in his mind. Flashes of images were breaking through which brought stabbing pain between his eyes and it brought him down to his knees, groaning the entire way, eyes clenched. Castiel braced Dean's descent with his arms and was shocked by the immediacy and intensity of what was bringing Dean down.

"Dean? What is it? What's happening?" Castiel asked.

"Don't know…Head hurts like a mother…images flashing."

"Of what? Of Hell?"

"N…no, nothing like that…I see –"

The pain threw him down on the floor on all fours. He tried to breathe through it, but nothing helped.

"Let me take you to the couch."

"No…wait…can't move…every muscle in my body…pain…excruciating."

"BOBBY! SAM!" Castiel called out.

Castiel tried to help him up to get him to the couch, but Dean could only shake his head, his breathing ragged.

Bobby and Sam rushed down the stairs when they heard their names being called. They then stopped in their tracks, seeing Dean on the floor, fighting off incredible pain.

Sam was the first to bend down and brace the other side of Dean.

"Dean? Cas, what's happening?"

"I honestly don't know. Dean's been in too much pain to tell me anything. It came on suddenly."

"Dean?" Sam said, trying to get through to him.

Dean saw the images flash through his mind. On their own, they weren't spectacular, a man, standing in front of a coffee shop with a cup of coffee, seemingly fine. He looked like he was waiting for someone, but then he saw the man's expression change, he turned and what happened next took whatever breath Dean had left away. He saw black smoke enter into the man's mouth and nose, surreptitiously without him or others noticing. Once inside him, his expression became cold, distant, and unemotional. His eyes then flashed, not black like most demons, not white like Lillith's had, but red. It was only then did the man smile, evilly and filled with sinister intent. Possession. Dean recognized it, but didn't understand what it had to do with the pain he was feeling. And the red eyes. He had never seen any demon with red eyes unless…Lucifer rushed into his head. Then a calm, eerily cold voice entered into his mind.

"Dean. Nice to meet you. I look forward to meeting you in person –"

Dean's expression changed to a mix of anger and pain. Sam, Bobby and Castiel watched the transformation.

"L…Lucifer," was all Dean could spit out before more pain hit him.

"Lucifer? What about Lucifer?" Sam asked anxiously, needing to get answers to what was happening to Dean.

"Yes, Dean, it's me and no, I'm not possessing you. Unfortunately, I can't. Your precautions were wise. However, it does feel this way to the human host…well, not outwardly, of course, if it did, then everyone would know our secrets, now wouldn't they? Would make it too easy for hunters like yourself to kill us too. Now what's the fun in that, huh? No, you're feeling everything the host's body is going through as I take control. I can keep him from screaming in agony, by making you suffer for him. It'll soon be over. We are bonded you and I. You will see all that I want you to see and only what I want you to see through this host and you won't like it, I promise you that…well, maybe you will like it. That time you spent in my dominion, some things might have rubbed off - "

"Y..You bastard…I will kill you. You hear me? You just name the place…and time…"

"Oh, we will meet in due time. For now, I plan to enjoy my new life on Earth. It's been such a very long time. Know this, Dean Winchester. I will not bow down to any human…especially you so don't think your victory is assured as the angels think it is. Prophecy isn't all it's cracked up to be these days."

Lucifer's voice stopped and the pain left. Dean collapsed on the floor, trying to catch his breath. Sam and Castiel lifted him up and helped him to the couch.

"Dean? What happened?" Sam asked.

"Give him a chance to catch his breath, Sam. He was in a world of hurt just now," Bobby scolded gently.

Sam nodded and remained silent, keeping his fear and concern in check until Dean recovered.

Once Dean's breathing evened out, Bobby gave him a glass of water. Dean took it and looked at him.

"Holy water?"

"Can't be too careful," Bobby said with a small smile and a quick wink, knowing Dean would understood the joke.

"Good," Dean smiled back as he took in a healthy gulp. "Thanks."

"What happened, Dean?" Sam asked again.

"It was Lucifer."

"Lucifer?"

"Yeh, he was playing mind games only **in** my actual mind. I saw him…possess someone," Dean said, "and he made sure I felt it."

"What?" Bobby said in shock.

"I've never experienced such agony," Dean said, in sadness and hushed shock. "I never knew it was like that."

"Yeh, it is," Sam said, speaking from an experience he wished he didn't have.

"Did you go through that when Meg…?"

"Yeh."

"Sam, I'm –"

"Don't be. I have a greater understanding of what people go through because of it and that's a good thing. It's part of the reason why I thought using my powers to exorcize the demons out of the hosts was helping them. I thought I was sparing them being imprisoned with that pain. The joke was when a demon leaves you it leaves damage and another kind of pain behind. I knew that too, but never considered it whenever I used my powers. Denial gives you selective memory, I guess."

Sam looked sadly at his friends and waited for the shocked and dismissive looks, but surprisingly all he saw was concern.

"It's okay, Sam. You don't need to explain. I'm just sorry you had to go through it at all," Dean said.

"Yeh, me too," Sam said sadly, communicating with his eyes to Bobby and Dean how much he had regretted what he had put the both of them through. Yeh, it was Meg, but it was his hands doing the dirty work.

"What else did Lucifer say?" Bobby asked to shift the attention, Dean's eyes showing gratitude towards him for doing it.

"He told me that we were bonded, that whenever he wanted he could make me see what he was doing through the host's body. He also said that he wouldn't bow down to any human, not even me and not to feel too cocky about my winning the fight with him," Dean recounted.

He turned to Cas.

"Was he telling the truth? About being bonded with him?"

"I honestly don't know. I've never heard of such a thing, but I will seek out the answer," Cas said as he disappeared.

Dean stared into space for a minute, exhaustion finally winning, his face was etched with worry.

"If Lucifer can get into my head, I'm a liability, guys. I'm a danger to all of you. If he knows what I'm thinking then he'll know whatever we're planning. I can't let him control me that way. I have to get as far away from you as I can."

**FIN. Hope you liked this sequel. Another one is coming. Thanks for reading.**


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